Stress Is A Beast!

Stress [stres] noun: mental, emotional, or physical strain or tension

Today's topic is about stress but more about how you have the capability to choose how to handle any stressful situation. Each and every one of us have been through a stressful moment whether it be about work, school, your job, family, friends or even finances. We have all been in some kind of predicament where we stress so much we can't focus on what's going on in our lives and everything seems completely chaotic. Stress can be a huge burden that weighs down on you mentally and in the end it takes over you physically. It always seems like WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS. Let me give you a summed up example of things that went on within the month of July/August...
1- My upstairs AC unit had a condensation problem and leaked from the attic all the way through to the downstairs living room.
2- The downstairs AC unit motor decided to kill over at that exact same time.
3- My car had a hit and run situation which left a huge dent and white scratches while it was parked.
4- We planned to move out of state then within hours we got rid of furniture and all of a sudden we are staying in phoenix.
5- The fuse to my driver's window kept blowing out. It blew out 3x before the geniuses figured out that they wired multiple wires to one fuse.
6- The tire blows out on our little car and we find out that all rims and tires need to be replaced.
7- My daughter had to have so many things done to her teeth so the doctor suggested to do an IV Sedation which is a little extreme but at least they got every tooth that needed fixing fixed. :)
8- Oh yeah! 1 week after my AC motor got fixed it stopped working again because (drum roll please...) My lovely dog decided to chew up the wire that controls something or other but yeah... It stopped working.
9- At one point in time all our cars were getting fixed for something that went out.
10- My garage door spring broke in half so the garage door couldn't even open.
11- Has to be etc... Etc... Etc... With all of this happening and much much more I still had my babies and husband in the mix. Family situations, friend situations and all other kinds of situations.

My point of view can honestly be summed up in one sentence. You can overcome stress through mental strengthening. If a situation arrises you can choose to be the victim or you can choose to be the leader. Make that decision correctly instantly then problems won't seem like problems anymore. You will only view them as little bumps in the road that aren't really a big deal. Unsolvable issues become resolvable outcomes! Our mind controls our stress levels. My family and friends were dumbfounded about how I was able to manage. I can honestly say that I didn't lose it. To say it in some back in the day slang, I kept my cool ;) To name a few aspects that helped me manage my stress level it would have to be: patience, humility, mental strength and one major aspect would be the love and appreciation I get from my husband on a daily. He helped me tremendously. Because of him I was able to look passed the storm and see that I was blessed with many things. A loving family, a loving husband, food, shelter and mobility. Of course I was busy almost every day but now that the storm is calming and things are settling and everything is fixed I can sigh with relief and happiness; now I can focus on the days to come. My last advice would be to look for things or people that make you happy and stick with 'em.

WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Be blessed,

MRS TBOLITNFL

The Art of True Love: Communication

This topic is definitely a broad topic. There are so many different types of love and situations and actions that can help one master the art of true love. But what it honestly comes down to is one word... You...

Today's topic is definitely one of my favorite topics to speak of. My husband has told me before that I am IN LOVE WITH LOVE and this statement still remains. True love is full of passion, loyalty, trust and is immoveable and unbreakable plus much much more. Love is a verb filled with honorable words and actions and should NEVER be taken for-granted. Now each and every one of us have been in the uncomfortable situation of conflict between you and your "Love". Whatever the topic is we all have encountered some kind of issue that "raises our blood temperature" or so to speak. But what I truly want to speak about is how you choose to handle that current situation.

My point of view is love will always remain as is, no matter what situation arises. It will always remain as love. Nobody can say, "I love you" and a minute later after an argument say, "I hate you" and literally mean it. A wise person will tell you that there is a happy medium with arguing. It's called FIGHTING FAIRLY. If a couple does not argue then I would say that it is an unhealthy relationship because that is a sign of NO-COMMUNICATION. A couple that argues too much is obviously in an unhealthy relationship because it is a sign of MISCOMMUNICATION. A couple that argues fairly shows submissiveness on both ends which helps the couple to be able to listen to each other and work out their conflict in a loving manner and that is what I would call CLEAR COMMUNICATION. There are so many factors to accomplishing The Art of True Love; and communication plays a huge role in this achievement. It is clear that even if you do not say I LOVE YOU on a daily basis to your loved one that they will still know that you love them BUT the truth of the matter is that it is still nice to hear it. Stay true to who you are and who your LOVE is to you. REMAIN IRREPLACEABLE & IMMOVEABLE.

Caution: NEVER SAY ANYTHING YOU DO NOT MEAN a second of "Verbal-Aim-Low-Victory" will only cause heartache to your relationship and will strip away the trust between you two one layer at a time till their is nothing left.

Breakup To Makeup.... The Same Old Game

"Break up to make up, that's all we do
First you love me then you hate me
That's a game for fools"
                              -The Stylistics


Reading the lyrics of the song, "Break up to make up" by The Stylistics made me realize that this is one of the main problems in relationships. This song was made in the 1980's and can still be applied in todays dating/marriage/RELATIONSHIPS IN GENERAL society. Now what does that say?


Todays topic is obviously on UNNECESSARY BREAK UPS. It's crazy how as children of our parents we think that we have it bad with the dating scene but in reality your parents could possibly be able to relate to you about problems in the dating world. It is crazy that as a whole different generation we still have this same old problem. Unnecessary break ups are always dramatic and for redundant purposes they are unnecessary. LOL... More than 90% of the time these break ups or I NEED SOME SPACE/TIME are caused by arguments. But the catch to all of these break ups is YOU TWO GET BACK TOGETHER. So who are you fooling? 


My point of view has to agree with the song above. It is a game for fools because like I just asked WHO ARE YOU FOOLING? I would have to say YOURSELF. Breaking up and then in the near future you get back together is pure craziness. All that you are doing with your I NEED SOME TIME is adding confusion to your relationship and stripping your trust in each other away. Relationships should not be halfway and I'm speaking about marriage too. NO RELATIONSHIP SHOULD BE ONE FOOT IN AND THE OTHER FOOT OUT THE DOOR. It is unfair to the person you are with and you will be wasting your time because nobody can stay in love with a HALFWAY FOOL. *real talk* It's either you are together or not. Plain and simple... Now if you truly love someone and you know that this is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with then treat it as such. NEVER mention BREAK UP. NEVER mention I NEED SOME TIME. NEVER treat your significant other like they can easily be replaced. It is cruel and heart breaking to make your loved one feel as such. Now please... Appreciate what you have. Rekindle the fire. Never be complacent. And the last word of advice that I have, NEVER SAY THINGS YOU DO NOT MEAN...

You Can Still "BE REAL" While Being Respectful

There are a couple comments that I want to post and I want to know if this has ever come across your mind... Here we go....

"I know your talking about me so why would I go out of my way to say HI??!!"

"I'm not fake so if I don't like you, YOU'LL KNOW..."

"I don't trust people so I don't want to let anybody in unless I know they are cool"

"If I don't wanna smile then guess what?! I WON'T SMILE"

Etc... Etc... Etc...

The list can go on and on and you may have not said it in those exact words but what it all boils down to is YOU HAVE BEEN BACKSTABBED IN SOME WAY AND IT'S HARD TO TRUST ANYBODY NEW.

Today's topic is about "People Skills". The reason why I want to speak on this topic is because I for one am speaking from experience. Unfortunately, I was one of those people that wouldn't.... I mean I actually refused to let anybody in. I would constantly hear from my husband that I need to be nicer or not so rude and I was so bad that I didn't know I was being rude. I didn't even SMILE. How sad is that? So this year I told my husband I'M GONNA WORK ON MY PEOPLE SKILLS. It took a lot of work and will power to be able to change years of stubbornness. But I realized that the people that I was meeting weren't people from my past. They weren't the people that hurt me. So I truly did a 180 and turned my "People Skills" around.

My point of view is that I never really understood how much pain I held inside and how much I let other people control my day, my week or even my life. All because I chose to be what society calls "BEING REAL" but all it brought out were negative vibes from me and others. But today... Today I can proudly say that there is no awkwardness in my heart. I don't need to tell people my life story right off the bat. But I can still be presentable, nice and respectful WITHOUT BEING FAKE. I feel more positive and definitely happy now. I can go anywhere no matter who or what people are talking about I can kill them with kindness. Hahahaha... I laugh more and I smile more. My husband is definitely my inspiration for all of this. And hey... All I have to say in the end is if anyone chooses to talk about me before they get to know me then that's a shame cause I know that one thing I'm good at is being a true friend. I believe that this quote basically sums up this blog all in one sentence...

"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust and hostility to evaporate."

                                                                   -Albert Schweitzer

The Sensual Side of Photography

WARNING: If you are under the age of 18 I do not advise you to read this blog. This blog is for mature adults only. Thank you... (hahahahahaha.... jk)

Nowadays we have access to a camera/video camera that is within our reach. Whether it be on our cell phone or we keep a camera in our bag either way we have it on hand and we are ready to snap away at any embarrassing, funny, cute or sad moment. Now have you ever sat back and asked yourself how important photo images are to you or others? I personally love to view lovey dovey pictures of my husband and I from our dating days to now. Taking that trip down memory lane still gives me butterflies and laughs. Now with that being said today's subject is going to be about the sensual side of photography but not for just anyone but for your spouse actually more for your husband.

I messaged some random female friends on Facebook asking them about this certain subject. In fact, here is the exact message I sent out to them...

• Ok I need help... I was asked to write a blog about photography but more of the sensual side of photography. Pictures that women take for their new husbands, anniversary or husbands birthdays. The couple that does these photo shoots are LDS and they get a ton of praise from the women that do these photos and men that get these photos. These photos are for the husbands eyes only. These women are in lingerie or a bra and undies. Please tell me your views about this entire thing. Some people think that doings these photos is degrading to women. But these women come to them to take these photos. Note that these pictures are not raunchy. I don't really know how to explain it unless you see for yourself. WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?
  
  Jones Red Label (the sexy side of Jones Photo Art)
  www.jredlabel.com
  Sexy, Modern Boudoir Photography
• Jones Red Label (the sexy side of Jones Photo Art)

  www.jredlabel.com
  

  Sexy, Modern Boudoir Photography

  
  

Immediately after I sent out this message I got a ton of responses. All of their answers/opinions were positive whether they would do it or not. Some girls said they've done it already or you know I'd do it but most of their responses could be summed up in one phrase, "TO EACH HIS OWN". If you don't understand here is an example: I'd never pick that color, but to each his own. So what is your opinion on this matter?

My point of view is WHO AM I TO JUDGE? The honest reason why I wouldn't do it is because I don't want anyone else seeing me dressed that way other than my husband but that is MY opinion and nobody else. But if you were to ask me if I look down on another because they choose to do these kind of photos for their husband???? Ummm... Not so much. In fact, more power to them! If that's their choice to be able to rekindle the fire or do a simple action of JUST BECAUSE then HEY, GO ON WITH YOUR BAD SELF ;) These photos are being taken for their husbands eyes only and not for the public eye to see so I ask why are we forming a negative judgement on what we don't see? The wisest answer I got was given by my mother--> What happens behind closed doors between a married couple is NONE OF OUR BUSINESS! I have the same opinion about the photographers taking these photos... TO EACH HIS OWN!

Gossip... It's Not Fun When It's About You

"Whispering Game"

About half-a-dozen or more kids sit in a circle and the first child whispers something into the ear of the second and so forth. By the time the whisper gets to the last child something completely hilarious comes out that has nothing to do with what was first whispered. The #1 rule to this game is you can only whisper it once and NO REPEATING IS ALLOWED. 

Today's subject is... (DRUM ROLL PLEASE)... Gossip! Now as a child we would play an innocent game full of fun and laughter but as adults the he-say-she-say stuff isn't just a game of fun anymore. It's a game that theoretically throws knives from your mouth to inflict pain to another emotionally and eventually you ruin their reputation. I brought up the "Whispering Game" because that is exactly how rumors happen and get exaggerated. One person starts an assumption and states it as a fact and the second person repeats what is said but puts their little flair into it and eventually makes it into their own story and so on and so on. Let's call that domino effect THE VICIOUS CYCLE OF GOSSIP. Now this is definitely a sensitive subject because us as humans like to take offense to something we may know is wrong but we just don't want to admit to it. Some make excuses or justifications such as, "It's not gossip when it's the truth" or "Well hey... The truth hurts! (as he/she shrugs their shoulders)" All of this talk of he-say-she-say mumbo jumbo is justified by I'M JUST TELLIN THE TRUTH but honestly have you ever stepped back from the situation to think if it was true or not rather than going off of what others say?

My point of view is we don't understand exactly how deep our words cut when we speak ill of another person. Gossip is nothing less than a scandal meaning you are spreading rumors or simply talking about someone that is damaging to ones reputation; it is usually more or less awful but still poisonous. Drama is always unnecessary and never ceases to happen but completely cutting out gossip in your life will definitely reduce any future drama that may come your way and life will seem just a little bit easier. The classic advice TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED can be used in the scenario with slightly different changes.

"TALK ABOUT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TALKED ABOUT..."

Tattoos... American or Culture? Good or Bad?

Todays topic is going to be about Tattoos. Why would you get one? What would you get? Why did you get it? Cultural? Just because? I may even hear the classic line, I was drunk... Also what I really want to hear is what you honestly think about tattoos in general. Some say it looks cool and others say it looks ugly. Why do you have this certain opinion about tattoos? Religion? Parents installing in your head that tattoos are good/bad? WHY???

Being Christian and Polynesian makes this subject a little harder to talk about if it's good or bad. Religion wise this action is not encouraged. Cultural wise this action may signify rank in ones tribe for example lets take a look at the Maori culture. Tattooing is considered to be a sacred art for the Maori people. The first tattoo marks the transition from childhood to adulthood and was done during a series of rites and rituals. Traditional Maori tattoos were more than just decorative. They were a show of strength, courage and status. Now with that being said what are your thoughts?

Americanized tattoos can be considered random tribal tats, favorite cartoon characters, names of loved ones, symbols honoring a passion for something or someone and sadly enough you get those with future regretful names. Personally, I have seen some beautiful tattoos but I have also seen some really funky ones and if you google STUPIDEST TATTOOS you definitely get what you asked for. It really seems ridiculous and as you look through the images all you can say is WHAT THE HECK WERE THEY THINKING?! Now I know there are people that get beautiful symbols or writings to represent their significant other or a loved one who has passed so what do you think about them? What are your personal feelings about those that get ridiculous tattoos vs people that get tattoos that signify their love for their family?

My point of view is tattoos are not to be taken lightly. It is a permanent action that needs to be thoroughly thought through. In my culture it is not frowned upon to have a TRADITIONAL polynesian tattoo. If anything there is a deeper understanding to why an individual would go and get one as long as they keep it traditional. Religiously it could hurt feelings because it is not encouraged but we do have our free agency. Americanized tattoos is definitely in the same boat for me. Ridiculous, insane, immature tattoos that have absolutely no meaning to life in general is exactly what I just said RIDICULOUS, INSANE AND IMMATURE. I personally do not agree with those that disrespect the art by getting foolish tattoos. But I honestly do not feel that way towards those that honor a loved one. Those that honor a loved one with beautiful art is an AWE moment for me. I will not degrade those that show passion for another that would be considered a "holier-than-thou" moment <-- meaning SELF-RIGHTEOUS.

Easter Holiday At Its Best

Nowadays we get Easter baskets and fill them with colorful grass and candy. Then we dye and decorate eggs and have easter egg hunts. Oh, don't forget about pictures with the Easter Bunny!!! All of which most of us experience in our childhood and still experience in our adulthood --->ME<--- Hahaha... Now on a serious note I really want to talk about what Easter means to you not on a surface level but more on a deeper level. 

Here in Arizona we hold an annual event called, "The Easter Pageant". Rather than having me explain what Easter means to me or us as Christians it's best to witness with your own eyes. This event is nothing less than emotionally inspiring, beautiful, brilliant and amazingly touching. It hits the heart in ways you never knew you could feel. Many people describe the feeling as a burning in your chest. Not heart burn but a good type of burn. The feeling you get when you do something right. The link below is the information about the Easter Pageant. Unfortunately, today is the last day but as I mentioned above this event is annual and should definitely be on your "Things To Do With Your Family" list. So if you have not seen the Easter pageant I highly recommend that you go at least once. Who knows? It may even become a tradition for you and your family to go every year ;)

http://easterpageant.org/

My point of view is that the subject of Easter Sunday cannot be explained in just one paragraph. In fact it would not do justice to the meaning of Easter Sunday. That is why I recommended for you to go and watch the Easter Pageant. It is for all religions and no one will ever be turned away. But as far as what I can say about Easter Sunday is that it should be celebrated with your family. Whether you are attending church or decorating eggs I believe that things should be done together. Create those memories with your children (if you have kids). It will definitely leave a lasting affect in your child's heart. If you are single or married without children then spend those moments with your loved ones. Every year my husband and I try to take our family to the Easter Pageant. Fortunately, my wonderful husband has been able to participate in the event as a Roman Soldier and his acting is amazing. He never ceases to impress me with his many talents. These moments spent together as a family have been truly memorable and irreplaceable. I challenge you to build memories with your family that you and your loved ones can keep for a lifetime.

Being Prideful = Shattered Communication

Epiphany

[ih-pif-uh-nee]

-noun

a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience 

I do believe in epiphanies and last night I had a huge epiphany to address a situation that affects a lot of relationships. For the past couple days I have been watching a TV series called, "The Game". If I was asked to sum it all up in one word it would be DRAMA but there was something that continuously stuck out to me. Something that seriously pissed me off. Something that would honestly end the show in one episode. If they would've just said one simple but meaningful phrase after an argument, "I LOVE YOU and I still want to be with you."

The reason why the title is, "Being Prideful = Shattered Communication" is because when couples argue some people, and I have been guilty, put up a wall which is something I would like to call PRIDE. When arguments get heated sometimes people say things they don't mean such as, I want to break-up, I want a divorce or the classic phrase I need some space. Now if any of those phrases are said but in the end they work it out then the phrase is nothing but a "read in between the lines" type of phrase and they got lucky that their partner "read in between the lines" but what about the couples that don't have partners that read in between the lines? What happens to them? Now this is where the TV series, "The Game" comes into play. All of the couples had the basic same story NONE OF THEM DROPPED THEIR PRIDE AFTER AN ARGUMENT AND REFUSED TO FORGIVE THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER AND BY THE TIME THEY DROPPED THEIR PRIDE IT WAS TOO LATE! Take note to that last part IT WAS TOO LATE! Now coming back to reality, as dramatic as that show was it happens a lot between couples. The testing, the games, and the lies. Let me explain, I said testing because if you say I WANT TO BREAK-UP you are testing to see if they will fight for you. When I said games its because that's exactly what it is A GAME to see if they will prove their love for you. Now when I said lies I know that lie is a harsh word but it is straight to the point. If you say I WANT TO BREAK-UP but in your heart you don't then hey I'm going to call a spade a spade, and an unmeaningful phrase is a nice way of saying that it's a lie. 

My point of view is don't wait till the last minute to drop that wall and forgive your partner. Holding on to your pride will do nothing but damage to your relationship. Everything that you have worked for in your relationship and accomplished together could be shattered in minutes possibly seconds. Realize who your significant other is to you and if you want to be with that special someone for the rest of your life then treat them that way don't treat them like they can easily be replaced. Make them feel like he/she is the only one out there for you. Never stay complacent! Always continue to work and build on your relationship to keep your bond strong and unbreakable. Communicate and never and I repeat NEVER SAY ANYTHING YOU DON'T MEAN. Words cut deeper than you think and is one of the hardest things you will ever have to repair. Whoever says love is easy is delusional but whoever says love is the most amazing feeling you will ever experience in the world is a wise man.

Is it Judgment Day?

Have you ever come across a person that has judged you badly because of your faith and what you believe in or they have completely judged your religion off of crazy rumors and they think your crazy for being a part of such a thing? I know I have run into a few people like that. So my question is... What do you do in this kind of situation?


Honestly, there are so many different things that I can say about how you would possibly react in this certain type of situation. For example, if you ran into this kind of problem instantly the words PURE IGNORANCE could come to your mind. Possible shock or sadness either way if you are human you will feel something but before we move on I would like you to really ponder on this quote below...


"Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment."

-Bob Packwood

My point of view is that growing up I have come to the conclusion that in the end people will believe what they want to believe. No matter how much you "tell" them otherwise their "opinions" stay the same. Notice that I put quotations on "tell"and "opinions". I quoted the word, "tell" because like the famous saying goes, "ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS." I quoted the word, "opinions" because opinions will continue to be opinions until proven to be a fact. So when we do come across people that choose to judge you off of words/rumors and not actions then why shouldn't we exercise our faith and be christ-like and speak louder through our actions and in the end you unknowingly prove their opinions to be wrong. Represent your faith by being an example and showing them what you do believe in. Plus like the old saying goes, "KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS" <-- I know personally that this saying is a fact and works like a charm ;) 

MY NAME IS PUANANI PI'IMAUNA LUTUI AND I AM A MEMBER OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER DAY SAINTS. LOVE ME OR JUDGE ME. I CAN ONLY BE ME. 

Never Fear Success

Have you ever felt like you were under pressure because your parents or the person you are named after has achieved so much in their lives? For example, being the Mechanical Engineer on the islands most popular ship, being one of the first to repair electronics of his/her time and providing his/her family with the best food and  shelter on the most beautiful part of the island or he/she was known for having an intelligent mind or was recognized for being an honorable captain in the army and on his/her free time being able to compose beautiful and memorable music. Sounds pretty intimidating, huh? Of course these descriptions are taken from an older generation of Polynesian's experience but what we can relate to is when a person has high expectations for us and at some point we may feel fear of failure...
Today's subject is about FEELING LIKE YOU HAVE BIG SHOES TO FILL. My husband, Taitusi "Deuce" Lutui came from a family that knew nothing less than hard work. His father, Inoke Lutui was the Mechanical Engineer and electrician that I spoke of earlier and Inoke's father was the intelligent, honorable captain and the talented composer. So you see, my husband comes from a line of successful men. We all know that being "successful" is full of goals, hard work, dedication, determination and execution. All words that can be extremely intimidating when read but when you take it one step at a time each of those words automatically form into actions. 

My point of view is success starts with motivation and everyone has different types of motivation whether it be having to provide for your family or childhood dreams to be successful or just being born into a family that knows nothing but success. Whatever motivation you have or need to be able to give you the boost of I CAN DO IT to succeed and achieve your goal then my advice would be GO FOR IT YOU NEVER KNOW HOW THINGS WILL TURN OUT UNLESS YOU TRY! 

WELCOME TO THE "LUTUI DYNASTY"

To check out Deuce Lutui's Story you can copy & paste the link below in browser

http://www.tbolitnfl.com/p/deuce-lutui-story.html

Monogamy...

"Pua and Tusi kissing in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G

First comes love, then comes marriage

Then comes a baby in a baby carriage"

Child rhymes sound like life is blissfully easy but as adults we know otherwise. We know that if you want to buy nice things you need money and to get money we need a job. We know that if you want a relationship you need to socialize and to get a relationship we need to be open to it. When you do achieve the Facebook status of "in a relationship", in sports terms, THE GAME IS NOT OVER. Fb can prove it! There's more options such as: Engaged, Married and etc... But on a serious note, when you do find a special someone that is willing to share their hopes and dreams and merge it with yours you have found what I experience, HAPPINESS.

What I want to talk to you about is having a monogamous relationship that will hopefully turn into a monogamous marriage. Instead of beating around the bush and confusing you with a bunch of pretty words I will just be blunt. Being monogamous can be easy or hard IT ONLY DEPENDS ON YOU. If you put your special someone above all others then no temptation will creep into your mind. Sounds ugly when I say it like that, huh? But cheating is ugly and cheating doesn't start physically it begins in your mind. That's why I said being monogamous can be easy or hard IT ONLY DEPENDS ON YOU 

My point of view is simply said but hard to achieve. In my heart I knew what I wanted in a man. To name a few aspects, I wanted him to be God-fearing, loving, selfless, respectful towards me and my family, motivated and of the same faith. I am truly indebted to the Lord for sending me such a man and more. Now if you find someone that is willing to give up the single life and has the same dreams as you for example, 

1. Having a Monogamous marriage

2. Starting a family

3. Spending the rest of their life with you

If you find that special someone that is more than willing to share their heart, mind and soul with you then I must repeat what I said in my "What is your definition of LOVE" blog, 

"...if you find TRUE LOVE and don't mix that up with silly moments of lusting infatuation but if you find TRUE LOVE never try to control it, hurt it, sabotage it, or fight it. Do nothing but CHERISH THE MOMENTS and APPRECIATE IT."

-Blog inspired by Steve Hardison

Forgiving Heart

TO FORGIVE OR BE FORGIVEN, THAT IS THE QUESTION...

Forgiveness on either end is difficult. Whether you are on the side of forgiving or on the side to be forgiven the first step is dropping your pride. Pride in your life, culture and any other important aspect is great! As long as you don't take it to the extreme. Being too prideful can definitely affect you being able to forgive someone or ask for forgiveness. Some times we can label asking for forgiveness as a weakness but if you step back and look at the bigger picture that person, whether it be yourself or somebody else, has to have the STRENGTH to drop all walls and be completely submissive. I emphasized on STRENGTH because it's true. To be able to say SORRY and sincerely mean it isn't a weakness it is a strength. In this case you are letting that certain someone know that you care enough to address the situation and fix it. One of my favorite quotes on forgiving is,


"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."

-Catherine Ponder

My point of view is if you are put in a situation where you need to forgive an individual it definitely takes a toll on your heart and mind. I know that there are a million different situations where forgiveness is being asked for and its easier and more dramatic to say FORGIVE THEM NOW OR YOU WILL FOREVER BE IN PAIN but what I do believe is that happiness is in your control. I know there are some cases where someone doesn't even ask for your forgiveness nor do they care to have it but in that kind of situation it is better to forgive them rather than play AN EYE FOR AN EYE game. If you forgive that person you will find that your mind is more clearer, the awkwardness is gone and you will find more happiness in your life. 

It is easier said than done but we
should always aim for pure happiness

Communication.....

There are points in our relationships where you feel like there is a wall up between you and your loved one. Whether it be tension, selective listening or overlooking the situation because to you it's not a big deal. 

Communication should be considered a living organism, I will explain why. For example, a fruit tree. When planted it starts out as a seed. Through the years it needs water and sunlight to grow and mature enough to bear fruit. Even at it's full maturity the tree will wilt and die if water or sunlight is taken away. I use this example because communication would be the seed and water and sunlight would be considered nurturing communication. Even if communication has reached excellence it can be stripped away in seconds if not honored. 



My point of view is communication should be respected. Growing up you were taught in school that COMMUNICATION SKILLS IS THE KEY TO ANY SUCCESS. This phrase is very true but it is easier said than done. Being truthful and holding ZERO secrets releases stress and tension on a relationship. Unknowingly, you will find that respecting and honoring communication will strengthen your trust in one another. Knock down those walls and build your foundation based on truth and trust. Then and only then will your fruit tree blossom and bear the most succulent fruit.

It's all in your hands

What is your definition of LOVE?

Love [luhv] noun,verb
-noun
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
-verb
1. to have love or affection for another person; to be in love

Today I am not talking about the love for a family member. I'm talking about the knock you off your feet and make your heart skip a beat kind of love. In the dictionary there are multiple definitions of love but the first definitions pretty much sum up what I am posting about today.

Sometimes and I don't mean all times but sometimes people can mix up the deep definition of love with shallow thoughts and high expectations of what love is. I may even be able to say that there is a shallow invisible checklist. For example,
1. He must be at least 6 ft tall
2. He must be up to code with fashion
3. Blue eyes wouldn't hurt either
4. He must have a nice body but not a body builder type body
5. He must have a CAR! Oh... That should have been #1
6. Another #1 he must have a job but not just any job. A CAREER!
7. Goes w/ #6. If he is pursuing music I need to see his credentials and if it's worth it
8. Oh I forgot! Brunette hair to go with the blue eyes
9. There are sooo many #1's HE MUST NOT LIVE WITH MAMA!
10. BEING RICH WOULD DEFINITELY BE A PLUS!
11. I forgot to say he must spoil me on my birthday, our anniversary, and all holidays no matter what holiday for example: Presidents Day lol...

My point of view is if you are looking for the bad in someone you will find it. No matter who the person is you will find the bad if searched for. Growing up you always heard ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE. That saying can be put towards love as well. ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LOVE. My advice to you is if you find TRUE LOVE and don't mix that up with silly moments of lusting infatuation but if you find TRUE LOVE never try to control it, hurt it, sabotage it, or fight it. Do nothing but CHERISH THE MOMENTS and APPRECIATE IT.

Confused Dating...

I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart that I am so happy to be out of the dating game. When I hear things from people about how the dating pool is going I feel sympathy for them. Dating was already complicated back in the days and it sounds like to me that it's only but gotten WORSE! The phrase I continuously hear is ITS SLIM PICKINGS. That is one phrase that is depressing and funny at the same time.



Every situation is different because everybody is different. I'm going to break this down and make this a little more specific. Today I'm going to talk about CONFUSED DATING. Have you ever said, "QUIT CALLING ME AND TEXTING ME" or have said it in a different form but still meaning QUIT CALLING ME AND TEXTING ME but the catch to this is you are waiting by the phone pissed off because he/she quit calling and texting you or you've said, "OH YEAH JUST CALL OR TEXT ME WHENEVER YOU GET THE CHANCE." And you wait by the phone pissed off because he/she hasn't called or texted you within 24 hrs. HAHAHA... You know you have done this at least once in your life but if you remember the outcome resulted in an unnecessary argument because he/she hasn't called or texted you. Now if you think about it you will realize that the final outcome was in your hands from the very beginning.

My point of view... All of this is nothing but games. The whole "DON'T CALL OR TEXT ME BUT YOU BETTER CALL OR TEXT ME" thing is exhausting don't you think? Dating would be one step closer to easier if people were straight forward rather than what we call BEATING AROUND THE BUSH. Now if you have been through this similar situation on either side let me know what you think about all of this.

My Living Inspiration

Last night my husband read my current posts under my, A GLIMPSE OF MY LIFE blog and he complimented me on my writing. I never really thought about if my posts were good or not. All I felt was that it was therapeutic to blog plus it is fun. He has encouraged me to start a new blog page titled, "Pua's Point of View". He has inspired me to write more about topics that people can relate to whether it be about love, dating, relationships, parenthood or more controversial topics like different types of drama that may have to deal with love, dating, relationships and parenthood.  Another topic that will be addressed is the high expectations of a NFL wife  and how the public may view our lives looking from the outside in but what I am going to blog is the truth about what goes on behind the scenes.

Before I conclude this post I would like to thank my husband, Taitusi Lomu Lutui for always pushing me to be my best. For never letting me be complacent. For always being my guide and my rock. For installing the security and strength in my heart. And for inspiring me to open my heart and mind to start up this blog. Because of your passionate and powerful speaking about my writing I would have to say that all of this and my life is dedicated to you, My Love.

Welcome to Pua's Point of View! Now let the blogging begin!