The Art of True Love: Faithfulness

You always hear that being faithful and trustworthy are huge factors in any relationship whether it is family, friendship or marriage. All of those relationships are equally important but what I would like to specifically speak about is trust in a marriage and being faithful to it.


"It is love that asks, that seeks, that knocks, 
that finds, and that is faithful to what it finds."
                    -Augustine of Hippo


We live in a world full of inspiring music, mystical scenery, delicious food, and beautiful people. All of these fortunate things can influence us for the better meaning all of these things, if not taken for granted, can put a smile on our face and bring positivity into your lives. Unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world. Where there is peace there is war... Where there is happiness there is sadness... And where there are faithful people there are regretably enough unfaithful people. As much as we are influenced to smile and laugh by beautiful things that bring us joy; there are bad influences and temptations that can confuse your mind just as easily. (Beware of such temptations... The only thing you will find is pain and regret.)  


My point of view is that I completely agree with this quote by Augustine. When love takes the time to ask, seek and eventually find it should be faithful to what it finds. But what impresses me most about this quote is that it was said in 1895 and that we can still relate to quotes and sayings that were mentioned over 100 years ago. Being faithful to love was just as important than as it is now. Love should always be respected to its highest degree. And last but not least, to fall in love is an amazing accomplishment but to be loved by someone who trusts you wholeheartedly is one of the many greatest gifts that anyone can receive and should never be taken advantage of. Before I end this blog I would like to leave you with a few words... Appreciation, Communication, Trust, Devotion, Friendship and Chemistry. 

Blog inspired by TRUE LOVE

Stress Is A Beast!

Stress [stres] noun: mental, emotional, or physical strain or tension

Today's topic is about stress but more about how you have the capability to choose how to handle any stressful situation. Each and every one of us have been through a stressful moment whether it be about work, school, your job, family, friends or even finances. We have all been in some kind of predicament where we stress so much we can't focus on what's going on in our lives and everything seems completely chaotic. Stress can be a huge burden that weighs down on you mentally and in the end it takes over you physically. It always seems like WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS. Let me give you a summed up example of things that went on within the month of July/August...
1- My upstairs AC unit had a condensation problem and leaked from the attic all the way through to the downstairs living room.
2- The downstairs AC unit motor decided to kill over at that exact same time.
3- My car had a hit and run situation which left a huge dent and white scratches while it was parked.
4- We planned to move out of state then within hours we got rid of furniture and all of a sudden we are staying in phoenix.
5- The fuse to my driver's window kept blowing out. It blew out 3x before the geniuses figured out that they wired multiple wires to one fuse.
6- The tire blows out on our little car and we find out that all rims and tires need to be replaced.
7- My daughter had to have so many things done to her teeth so the doctor suggested to do an IV Sedation which is a little extreme but at least they got every tooth that needed fixing fixed. :)
8- Oh yeah! 1 week after my AC motor got fixed it stopped working again because (drum roll please...) My lovely dog decided to chew up the wire that controls something or other but yeah... It stopped working.
9- At one point in time all our cars were getting fixed for something that went out.
10- My garage door spring broke in half so the garage door couldn't even open.
11- Has to be etc... Etc... Etc... With all of this happening and much much more I still had my babies and husband in the mix. Family situations, friend situations and all other kinds of situations.

My point of view can honestly be summed up in one sentence. You can overcome stress through mental strengthening. If a situation arrises you can choose to be the victim or you can choose to be the leader. Make that decision correctly instantly then problems won't seem like problems anymore. You will only view them as little bumps in the road that aren't really a big deal. Unsolvable issues become resolvable outcomes! Our mind controls our stress levels. My family and friends were dumbfounded about how I was able to manage. I can honestly say that I didn't lose it. To say it in some back in the day slang, I kept my cool ;) To name a few aspects that helped me manage my stress level it would have to be: patience, humility, mental strength and one major aspect would be the love and appreciation I get from my husband on a daily. He helped me tremendously. Because of him I was able to look passed the storm and see that I was blessed with many things. A loving family, a loving husband, food, shelter and mobility. Of course I was busy almost every day but now that the storm is calming and things are settling and everything is fixed I can sigh with relief and happiness; now I can focus on the days to come. My last advice would be to look for things or people that make you happy and stick with 'em.

WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Be blessed,

MRS TBOLITNFL

The Art of True Love: Communication

This topic is definitely a broad topic. There are so many different types of love and situations and actions that can help one master the art of true love. But what it honestly comes down to is one word... You...

Today's topic is definitely one of my favorite topics to speak of. My husband has told me before that I am IN LOVE WITH LOVE and this statement still remains. True love is full of passion, loyalty, trust and is immoveable and unbreakable plus much much more. Love is a verb filled with honorable words and actions and should NEVER be taken for-granted. Now each and every one of us have been in the uncomfortable situation of conflict between you and your "Love". Whatever the topic is we all have encountered some kind of issue that "raises our blood temperature" or so to speak. But what I truly want to speak about is how you choose to handle that current situation.

My point of view is love will always remain as is, no matter what situation arises. It will always remain as love. Nobody can say, "I love you" and a minute later after an argument say, "I hate you" and literally mean it. A wise person will tell you that there is a happy medium with arguing. It's called FIGHTING FAIRLY. If a couple does not argue then I would say that it is an unhealthy relationship because that is a sign of NO-COMMUNICATION. A couple that argues too much is obviously in an unhealthy relationship because it is a sign of MISCOMMUNICATION. A couple that argues fairly shows submissiveness on both ends which helps the couple to be able to listen to each other and work out their conflict in a loving manner and that is what I would call CLEAR COMMUNICATION. There are so many factors to accomplishing The Art of True Love; and communication plays a huge role in this achievement. It is clear that even if you do not say I LOVE YOU on a daily basis to your loved one that they will still know that you love them BUT the truth of the matter is that it is still nice to hear it. Stay true to who you are and who your LOVE is to you. REMAIN IRREPLACEABLE & IMMOVEABLE.

Caution: NEVER SAY ANYTHING YOU DO NOT MEAN a second of "Verbal-Aim-Low-Victory" will only cause heartache to your relationship and will strip away the trust between you two one layer at a time till their is nothing left.

Breakup To Makeup.... The Same Old Game

"Break up to make up, that's all we do
First you love me then you hate me
That's a game for fools"
                              -The Stylistics


Reading the lyrics of the song, "Break up to make up" by The Stylistics made me realize that this is one of the main problems in relationships. This song was made in the 1980's and can still be applied in todays dating/marriage/RELATIONSHIPS IN GENERAL society. Now what does that say?


Todays topic is obviously on UNNECESSARY BREAK UPS. It's crazy how as children of our parents we think that we have it bad with the dating scene but in reality your parents could possibly be able to relate to you about problems in the dating world. It is crazy that as a whole different generation we still have this same old problem. Unnecessary break ups are always dramatic and for redundant purposes they are unnecessary. LOL... More than 90% of the time these break ups or I NEED SOME SPACE/TIME are caused by arguments. But the catch to all of these break ups is YOU TWO GET BACK TOGETHER. So who are you fooling? 


My point of view has to agree with the song above. It is a game for fools because like I just asked WHO ARE YOU FOOLING? I would have to say YOURSELF. Breaking up and then in the near future you get back together is pure craziness. All that you are doing with your I NEED SOME TIME is adding confusion to your relationship and stripping your trust in each other away. Relationships should not be halfway and I'm speaking about marriage too. NO RELATIONSHIP SHOULD BE ONE FOOT IN AND THE OTHER FOOT OUT THE DOOR. It is unfair to the person you are with and you will be wasting your time because nobody can stay in love with a HALFWAY FOOL. *real talk* It's either you are together or not. Plain and simple... Now if you truly love someone and you know that this is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with then treat it as such. NEVER mention BREAK UP. NEVER mention I NEED SOME TIME. NEVER treat your significant other like they can easily be replaced. It is cruel and heart breaking to make your loved one feel as such. Now please... Appreciate what you have. Rekindle the fire. Never be complacent. And the last word of advice that I have, NEVER SAY THINGS YOU DO NOT MEAN...

You Can Still "BE REAL" While Being Respectful

There are a couple comments that I want to post and I want to know if this has ever come across your mind... Here we go....

"I know your talking about me so why would I go out of my way to say HI??!!"

"I'm not fake so if I don't like you, YOU'LL KNOW..."

"I don't trust people so I don't want to let anybody in unless I know they are cool"

"If I don't wanna smile then guess what?! I WON'T SMILE"

Etc... Etc... Etc...

The list can go on and on and you may have not said it in those exact words but what it all boils down to is YOU HAVE BEEN BACKSTABBED IN SOME WAY AND IT'S HARD TO TRUST ANYBODY NEW.

Today's topic is about "People Skills". The reason why I want to speak on this topic is because I for one am speaking from experience. Unfortunately, I was one of those people that wouldn't.... I mean I actually refused to let anybody in. I would constantly hear from my husband that I need to be nicer or not so rude and I was so bad that I didn't know I was being rude. I didn't even SMILE. How sad is that? So this year I told my husband I'M GONNA WORK ON MY PEOPLE SKILLS. It took a lot of work and will power to be able to change years of stubbornness. But I realized that the people that I was meeting weren't people from my past. They weren't the people that hurt me. So I truly did a 180 and turned my "People Skills" around.

My point of view is that I never really understood how much pain I held inside and how much I let other people control my day, my week or even my life. All because I chose to be what society calls "BEING REAL" but all it brought out were negative vibes from me and others. But today... Today I can proudly say that there is no awkwardness in my heart. I don't need to tell people my life story right off the bat. But I can still be presentable, nice and respectful WITHOUT BEING FAKE. I feel more positive and definitely happy now. I can go anywhere no matter who or what people are talking about I can kill them with kindness. Hahahaha... I laugh more and I smile more. My husband is definitely my inspiration for all of this. And hey... All I have to say in the end is if anyone chooses to talk about me before they get to know me then that's a shame cause I know that one thing I'm good at is being a true friend. I believe that this quote basically sums up this blog all in one sentence...

"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust and hostility to evaporate."

                                                                   -Albert Schweitzer

The Sensual Side of Photography

WARNING: If you are under the age of 18 I do not advise you to read this blog. This blog is for mature adults only. Thank you... (hahahahahaha.... jk)

Nowadays we have access to a camera/video camera that is within our reach. Whether it be on our cell phone or we keep a camera in our bag either way we have it on hand and we are ready to snap away at any embarrassing, funny, cute or sad moment. Now have you ever sat back and asked yourself how important photo images are to you or others? I personally love to view lovey dovey pictures of my husband and I from our dating days to now. Taking that trip down memory lane still gives me butterflies and laughs. Now with that being said today's subject is going to be about the sensual side of photography but not for just anyone but for your spouse actually more for your husband.

I messaged some random female friends on Facebook asking them about this certain subject. In fact, here is the exact message I sent out to them...

• Ok I need help... I was asked to write a blog about photography but more of the sensual side of photography. Pictures that women take for their new husbands, anniversary or husbands birthdays. The couple that does these photo shoots are LDS and they get a ton of praise from the women that do these photos and men that get these photos. These photos are for the husbands eyes only. These women are in lingerie or a bra and undies. Please tell me your views about this entire thing. Some people think that doings these photos is degrading to women. But these women come to them to take these photos. Note that these pictures are not raunchy. I don't really know how to explain it unless you see for yourself. WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?
  
  Jones Red Label (the sexy side of Jones Photo Art)
  www.jredlabel.com
  Sexy, Modern Boudoir Photography
• Jones Red Label (the sexy side of Jones Photo Art)

  www.jredlabel.com
  

  Sexy, Modern Boudoir Photography

  
  

Immediately after I sent out this message I got a ton of responses. All of their answers/opinions were positive whether they would do it or not. Some girls said they've done it already or you know I'd do it but most of their responses could be summed up in one phrase, "TO EACH HIS OWN". If you don't understand here is an example: I'd never pick that color, but to each his own. So what is your opinion on this matter?

My point of view is WHO AM I TO JUDGE? The honest reason why I wouldn't do it is because I don't want anyone else seeing me dressed that way other than my husband but that is MY opinion and nobody else. But if you were to ask me if I look down on another because they choose to do these kind of photos for their husband???? Ummm... Not so much. In fact, more power to them! If that's their choice to be able to rekindle the fire or do a simple action of JUST BECAUSE then HEY, GO ON WITH YOUR BAD SELF ;) These photos are being taken for their husbands eyes only and not for the public eye to see so I ask why are we forming a negative judgement on what we don't see? The wisest answer I got was given by my mother--> What happens behind closed doors between a married couple is NONE OF OUR BUSINESS! I have the same opinion about the photographers taking these photos... TO EACH HIS OWN!

Gossip... It's Not Fun When It's About You

"Whispering Game"

About half-a-dozen or more kids sit in a circle and the first child whispers something into the ear of the second and so forth. By the time the whisper gets to the last child something completely hilarious comes out that has nothing to do with what was first whispered. The #1 rule to this game is you can only whisper it once and NO REPEATING IS ALLOWED. 

Today's subject is... (DRUM ROLL PLEASE)... Gossip! Now as a child we would play an innocent game full of fun and laughter but as adults the he-say-she-say stuff isn't just a game of fun anymore. It's a game that theoretically throws knives from your mouth to inflict pain to another emotionally and eventually you ruin their reputation. I brought up the "Whispering Game" because that is exactly how rumors happen and get exaggerated. One person starts an assumption and states it as a fact and the second person repeats what is said but puts their little flair into it and eventually makes it into their own story and so on and so on. Let's call that domino effect THE VICIOUS CYCLE OF GOSSIP. Now this is definitely a sensitive subject because us as humans like to take offense to something we may know is wrong but we just don't want to admit to it. Some make excuses or justifications such as, "It's not gossip when it's the truth" or "Well hey... The truth hurts! (as he/she shrugs their shoulders)" All of this talk of he-say-she-say mumbo jumbo is justified by I'M JUST TELLIN THE TRUTH but honestly have you ever stepped back from the situation to think if it was true or not rather than going off of what others say?

My point of view is we don't understand exactly how deep our words cut when we speak ill of another person. Gossip is nothing less than a scandal meaning you are spreading rumors or simply talking about someone that is damaging to ones reputation; it is usually more or less awful but still poisonous. Drama is always unnecessary and never ceases to happen but completely cutting out gossip in your life will definitely reduce any future drama that may come your way and life will seem just a little bit easier. The classic advice TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED can be used in the scenario with slightly different changes.

"TALK ABOUT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TALKED ABOUT..."